Lenten Librarian: Final (belated) Post

Sorry for the delay, but making time to reflect on life is hard.  No, I take that back.  Making time to reflect is easy.  I do it in my sleep, in the car, in the shower, all the time.  It's making time to write about it that's hard.  In fact, I'd say that this is exactly the kind of thing that's become much, much harder since I became a mom. 

You may be wondering what my data collection told me about this topic.  Well, I'll tell you what.  Everyone is different.  Some parents of young children seem to find time for exercise and a social life, while others do not.  Some feel happy in their bodies.  Others do not.  Most struggle to see friends, just like I do.  Most miss alone time, romance, going to movies, travelling, and all of the other things that I still do, just differently and less frequently.  Most are sometimes blue about it.  Most usually overcome the blues by just taking a quick glance at their kids.  The results of my survey made me feel better, because I feel now that I'm not abnormal or inadequate for struggling.  I showed them to a pregnant friend who found them frightening.  I guess before your life changes in this way it does seem like the end of the world.  

So, how successful was this project?  Did I answer my research questions?

1. What has been added to my life since becoming a mother (besides the obvious)?  Does each addition result in the subtraction of something, or is it possible to add without taking away?
2. What do I want to cultivate?  How does my behavior teach my son how to be, and what do I want him to learn?

Yes and no.  Yes and no.  Here's the thing I realized.  It's a whole lot easier to give up chocolate for Lent than it is to embark on a period of real transformation.  I get it now.  If we were all walking around attempting to transform emotionally/spiritually/physically for the forty days of Lent, it would be chaos.  Maybe giving up chocolate is symbolic of the bigger, heavier, scarier transformations we must attempt over longer periods of time.  Maybe by giving up chocolate we provide ourselves with a daily reminder to think about those bigger, heavier, scarier things.  I never got that before.

I will say that this project has shaken me up.  Forty days is a drop in the bucket and my personal Lent is not over. 

In terms of my research process, my questions were too broad.  I made the mistake that I warn students against making ALL the time.  I had too many questions and each one was too big for the scope of the project.  Each time I made an attempt to identify sources if information and examine them, I got drawn in to what was essentially a new and unique research project.  I think that now I will focus on just one question: What do I want to cultivate?  It's an additive question, which I prefer.  It suggests fullness and thoughtfulness.  It is open-ended but specific.  It's a decent research question.

Thank you for reading.  Next year maybe I'll give up chocolate, or maybe I'll just design a better research question.  Or maybe I'll do both.